Thursday, 12 February 2015

Reader Response Draft 2

In the article “Writing Your Way to Happiness”, Parker-Pope(2015) states that it is possible to achieve happiness through writing in terms of improvement in mood disorder, health and memory. The author claims that, by writing and editing daily stories, people can change the way they view themselves and eventually identify the real problems that prevent them from obtaining a better health and life. These claims were illustrated by research. Students showed positive improvement on their studies after the story-changing intervention and prompting them to edit their own narratives about college. Parker-Pope (2015) also mentions that writing leads people to think optimistically and hence solve emotional issues. Research has been done among 120 couples by making them write narratives after their quarrel. The results show a great improvement on marital happiness as they reflected their own mistakes through writing and thinking.
‘Writing Your Way to Happiness’ by  Tara Parker-Pope claims that by writing and editing daily stories, people can obtain better health and life. However I do believe it can definitely lead to a happier life and I believe that her views are very simplistic. It only targets a specific audience mainly the ones who are well off to begin with.
After reading the article by Parker-Pope, it gave me an impression that she feels that most of our problems can be solved by merely writing about our life and editing it. She demonstrates this by listing down a large number of examples of people benefiting from writing and editing their daily stories. However by further inspection we can see that most of these stories are very similar. The subjects are at least in the middle class economical class . Take for example the students that showed positive improvement in their studies after their story changing intervention. This is only possible as the problem with these students is their lack of self-confidence and by writing, they are encouraged to think they could do it eventually. However, if we were shift the circumstances to places like rural villages in Laos, the students won’t even have the means to study hard for their test, as they won’t have time due to their work in the farms or lack of proper study environment. They will never be able to escape their predicament by just writing and rewriting their stories. Thus in this example, the solution by the article is not able to solve the same problem but in a different location. This is due to the fact that the article assumes that the students are all well off and not hindered by financial problems. Therefore, I would think Parker-Popes thinking are too idealistic and they only target a specific audience.
Another example in the article states that writing can allows people with problems to review their actions and act upon them. She further illustrate the point by using the example on Siri, a woman who used her kids and work to excuse herself from exercising, although her real reason was that she hated exercising. From this point and example that she made, it further supports my view that she has only a small target audience. This solution can only apply if the target has the capability to change his or her way of life, but they do not act on it. If we repeated the same experiment on people with problems out of their control such as abuse victims, they might not have the same response as Siri.

Although I do not fully agree with the passage, I can agree writing can indeed turn many problems around. However, it would be better if the author included a disclaimer that writing can only help if the target already has the physical capability to solve the problem.

References:


Tara Parker-Pope. (2015, Jan 19). Writing Your Way to Happiness [Web log post]. Retrieved from http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/01/19/writing-your-way-to-happiness/?_r=1&module=ArrowsNav&contentCollection=Health&action=keypress&region=FixedLeft&pgtype=Blogs

8 comments:

  1. Content:


    6. Is there a clear transition sentence/paragraph from the opening summary to an
    evaluation of/response to the ideas in the article?
    7. Does the writer (of the reader response) focus well on a specific aspect of the
    article?
    The writer focus on 2 different aspect of the article. Namely, does writing lead to a better life, and the size of the audience.
    8. Is there a clear stand (or thesis) regarding some specific area of the original
    article?
    The stand is unclear due to language problem. Explained below


    12. Do you consider this an interesting reader response?
    Response is rather interest as it demonstrated how one sided the article is.
    13. Are all outside sources correctly documented?
    There are no outside sources

    Organization:


    Does the transition sentence/paragraph between the summary and the
    response seem well connected to/cohesive with both?
    No, due to language problem, (explained below).

    Do the supporting ideas in the response seem well connected with the thesis?
    Are the supporting ideas well connected to each other?
    Supporting ideas are different, as it address a different stand made by the author of the RR in the thesis statement.


    Language Use:

    1. Is the language in the summary clear?
    Language in summary is very clear.

    2. Is the language in the rest of the essay clear?

    Language is rather clear. Follow is some of the language error we found.
    "these students is their lack" Should be "these students are their"

    " if we were shift the circumstances " should be "we were to shift"

    " we were shift the circumstances to places", i don't think we can use the word "circumstances" here.

    " lack of proper study ", should be " lack of a proper study"

    " lack of proper study environment" should be " a lack of a study environment"

    "Thus in this example, the solution by the article is not able to solve the same problem but in a different location" should be " Thus in this example, the solution by the article is able to solve the same problem, but not if its a different location"

    "can allows","can allow" instead


    3. Is the thesis clearly articulated?
    It is unclear whether the writer of the reader response agree with the writer of the main article. “ Tara Parker-Pope claims that by writing and editing daily stories, people can obtain better health and life” The writer of the RR used the word “however” but later still agrees with the author, “I do believe it can definitely lead to a happier life” Using the word “ however should indicated that the 2 sentences are opposing. Could have been a typo

    4. As the writer summarizes the original article, is there accurate use of reporting
    verbs?
    Yes, there is. Words like “state” and “illustrate” are use.

    5. Throughout the reader response has verb tense been appropriately used?
    Yes they moslty appropriately used.

    6. Are there any paragraphs that seem unclear to you? (list them by number)
    All the paragraph are rather clear language wise

    7. Have transitions been properly used?

    8. Does the reader response have any issues with punctuation?

    9. Does the writer appropriately present ideas for an academic audience?

    Most of the RR is rather clear. Maybe just a few sentence structure problem here and there. Ideas could be more organised. No reference is made at the bottom of the RR

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks, Zhengguang, for a good effort. You present what seems to be a fairly accurate summary. While your thesis needs refined (you can eliminate the use of "I"), your idea development in the response also seems cohesive. What needs work is your mode of expression. Please see these examples:


    --- Research has been done among 120 couples by making them write narratives after their quarrel. The results show a great improvement on marital happiness as they reflected their own mistakes through writing and thinking. >>> inconsistent verb tense
    Research was done among 120 couples by making them write narratives after their quarrel. The results showed a great improvement on marital happiness as they reflected ON their own mistakes through writing and thinking.

    --- well off >>> (too conversational)

    --- ‘Writing Your Way to Happiness’ by Tara Parker-Pope claims that by writing and editing daily stories, people can obtain better health and life. >>>
    Parker-Pope claims that by writing and editing daily stories, people can obtain better health and A HAPPIER life.

    --- However I do believe it can definitely lead to a happier life and I believe that her views are very simplistic. >>> Express this idea without being so subjective; avoid being "I"-centered.

    Try: While X can lead to better health and a happier life, the author's views seem simplistic.

    --- After reading the article by Parker-Pope, it gave me ... >>>
    Who read? "It"? Again, express this without the "I". Just state as follows:
    Parker-Pope suggests that most of our problems can be solved by merely writing about our life and editing it.

    --- we can see >>> AVOID USING " I" AND "WE"!

    --- APA not followed in end-of-text citation.

    I look forward to your next draft.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Every writers wanted to have some responds from the reader as these responds are like some precious gift for the writers. explore more will give you some handy tips and guide to write your term and others academic papers.

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    ReplyDelete
  5. Yesss indeed writing is great way and source of happiness atleast since I started using www.plagerismchecker.net/focus-on-finding-the-best-free-plagiarism-scanner I found great improvements in my writing work.

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  7. Yes i also thing that writing can change your mood your tension and depression. Basically we can say writing is a therapy that is helping many students a lot so explore more here for all possible reading.

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